Back.

Alright that's it. I'm back.
I could argue that I am not really back, simply elsewhere, but I've been so obviously here before that I can be nothing else but back. And I don't like it.
Being back means that I was some place else for some time and now it's over. My twisted mind tends to see that as a failure, especially when I had formulated the wish of staying for a longer time. Well.
As a grown-up, I feel like I should look back on the past six months, have some conclusive thoughts, then move on with my life and certainly not live in the past.

All in all, I think I'm a better NMCB. I went from a pretentious sociopathic asshole to a slightly less pretentious, less sociopathic semi-asshole.

This experience additionnally results in a ton of good memories, a fistful of people that I now call my friends, and a fistful of other people I wish I had had the time to know better.

And a lifetime worth of projects.

First step in my evil plan : living in Brussels.

Plans. Changed.

I'm going back to Belgium in one week.

Leaving Berlin makes me a little sad but almost every last person that I know here is leaving these days as well so it makes sense in a way.

Additionnally, I like the idea of having a network of friends living in all european capital cities. And if I'm not the one residing in Brussels, who will it be ?

For now I'll be going back to my parents'. Both my brothers are there for the moment so it shouldn't be too much of a living hell, at least I hope so. I don't plan on being at home too much and too long though. I picture a nice apartment in some nice neighbourhood of Brussels, and having breakfast in a café every day before heading to my overly well-paid job, possibly behind the wheel of some car having that new car smell, or the old car one, I won't be picky about cars I promise.

But for now, I'm trying to make my last Berliner week memorable. I mean more than just a memory of tidying and cleaning for several days (gods knows my room needs it, and now you do as well). It should be fine though. I'm not making a checklist, because they never get completed and that's bad for my good spirits.

I never know if I will be missing the places and people that I leave. We'll see about Berlin. Belgium had better be nice to me though, otherwise being back to the third world will be tough. But I already know of a few cool only-in-Belgium things that will immensely cheer me up. Yay!

Studies. Over.

Some sources indicate that my studies are over. This long-awaited moment has finally come. I am happy yet sad. Being over with all bullshit associated with school certainly makes me proud of myself. But together with this achievement come a lot of goodbyes these days, and hard times in the coming weeks, months maybe.
All of these could have been avoided if I wasn't a fool but my foolish decisions are made and there's no stopping my foolish self now.
I hope I can take a sane, fresh start. Yet now I just feel like staring for hours at the garden from the cold, yellow-and-green room of my (now over) childhood.

Actually my childhood ends today. Quite a frightening idea.

September 3rd, 2010.
When by 2083 or so historians study my life, this date will be the last day of the first volume.